During my graduation days I generally never felt missing anybody. Seldom did I think of home. Maasa used to be always miffed at this peculiar behavior of mine. I used to reason with her putting forward my defense, “Calling everyday just to say I am fine? Maasa I can’t do that, it’s boring.” But I had to eventually succumb to the frailty of a mother’s heart.
I used to wonder, when I don’t remember anybody, why should anyone remember me. She used to tell me that she misses me often, and I used to ask myself baffled and perplexed, why? Now today when she is not there with me I get the answer to that why and much more!!!
I used to get lost in a train of thought earlier wondering what had come to pass last time we met that she is now missing me so much!! Had there been an unanswered question that she had posed and I had failed to answer? Or had I said something too rude while I was lost in my reverie? What possibly could I have done? Trying to find the answers I used to re-run the tape of all conversations again and again in my mind, and try to find the figment, the spark that she might have carried away and now is the cause of this missing phenomenon.
Mothers are the most important ones and many a times we don’t realise we are missing them, but we do. It’s a fact. I realize now, just hearing my voice was probably enough for her to know I am doing well. I mildly slap myself on the back of my head and smile a little today. Well I might have been a good for nothing son, but she was different, infact she was the Best!! It is her goodness and congeniality that she used to think of me at leisure. Even today this thought satisfies my troubled mind and give me some relief from her absence. And secretly I smile, at least I now not just remember her, I miss her a lot too. Though maybe it’s too late!!!
When your mind is busy you don’t have time to miss someone. You only remember them in those short breaks that your mind takes. More than missing a person, I think, we miss the things that we used to do together with that person. As long as we are happy, preoccupied and comfortable with where we are we don’t really feel that something is missing but eventually the feelings do creep in!!!!
And yes, I missed you all, my Friends, these last few weeks!!!! But now am back and it do feels nice to be back among you all again. 🙂