An Affair with an Ant….

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After school life and ragging I think go hand in hand. And as you all must know after Chetan Bhagat’s IITian-bhagvat that IIT’s do follow some nice exclusive ragging methods.

It was Civil Engg class (as per us, it was the most useless subject we were doing) and I arrived at the class ten minutes early in order to grab the last bench so as to complete the 2000 word assignment given by our senior on a mind -blowing topic “AN AFFAIR WITH AN ANT”. The last bench was already occupied.

Me: Hey, please can you give me your seat; I need to complete the special assignment.

That guy just flashed his folder sheets in the air over which his topic was written – “Why Parle G and not Parle F” – 3000 words!!

His teary weary eyes truly expressed that he can’t write 3000 words about him; where this Parle A, B, C, D thing came!!! I expressed my heartfelt sympathy to him like a co-prisoner who is locked up in the same jail.

I took whatever seat available in whatever available end-row and started writing. Half an hour later, I was fully exhausted. Mind clogged. Truly speaking, writing 2000 words on that silly topic felt like counting 2000 stars in daytime. I was so enervated that once I even started listening to the civil professor’s useless lecture.

After 30 seconds of my traumatic concentration to the lecture, I turned my head towards my bench-mate. Rolling the pen between his fingers, fully captivated in the class, he was noting even the minute details of the lecture in his king-size notebook as if he has to prepare a national railway budget for the next fiscal year from those entire details. An ideal Complan boy I guess!!!

I started writing again. I tried to write a sensual portrayal of the ant. Something like this!!

“Wearing a pink colored T-shirt outfitted with 6-legged blue Calvin Klein torn jeans escorted with a long silky hair (0.2mm), she looked like an angel from heaven. Her microscopic hazel eyes when affixed with me, I immediately knew she was the ONE for me. My heart started pounding hard and her delicate antennae blissfully fitted on her head displayed the frequency as 121 beats/second!!! She was implausibly ravishing. Probably James Blunt has sung the song “You are beautiful” remembering that “Gorgeous Ant” only.”

Thereafter, I wrote “something something” which was completely stupid just like the last paragraph. Even then, 2000 words was a Herculean task. So, I stopped pestering my timid brain. I took out The Times of India newspaper which we generally used to take in the civil class for time-pass. Some spicy news on Salman-Sangeeta was making the stories. I copied the whole report just replacing Sangeeta’s name with “Her” and Salman’s with “Me”.

Around 5p.m. in the evening, I submitted the uncanny report to one of my most chilled senior. Better not to take the name, but let me assure you all, I can never forget the fellow ever!!! My goodness, he started reading it with 110% concentration word after word as if it’s an end-semester’s leaked question paper. I shivered as they have strictly mentioned not to copy from any external sources. After few minutes of absolute silence he said – “Well done boy, Good work!!”

I relaxed. Felt like a cold-blooded criminal has been denied of all charges and has been declared innocent. Before I can feel the feelings anymore, that senior (walking away with a guileful smile) said – “By the way, Salman and Sangeeta, everything’s now settled and its peace in their life. Hope you too have a good time tonight at the 5th block terrace at 11p.m. SHARP!!!!!!!!!





7 thoughts on “An Affair with an Ant….

  1. hehehehe
    is this the same ant BT 😉
    too hilarious….how could u even write on such a subject hehehe.


  2. LMAO …. Salman Sangeeta ko change kiya with “Her” and “You” … This is Hillarious …….. And what kind of an Topic is this? Affair with an ANT?(ROFL)


  3. oh my god love story with an ant and i was thinking something else

    how did u ever manage to write and speaking of the person in last seat was he someone like chatur in three idiots hehee

    too good


  4. How many slaps on 5th block terrace? 😉

    I remember swimming in the mess common room floor, with no water available. hahaha. But swim i had to!


  5. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha………!
    We had gud seniors. 😉 You guys neva made us do all this, and thanks before hand for the same too.



  6. I can never forget those ragging day. But best used to be these essay writings hahaha. some of those used to be so hilarious…..!
    I remember Bonik, he would always come up with most funny creative ones. and best was his detailed research paper on snow in Puri beach hahahahaha.


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