Make TODAY that Someday!!!

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I wonder what gives a man, the right to hit a woman. I think about the same a lot but today after seeing an incident decided to vent out here. This is something that needs to be addressed seriously. If not the earlier generation, atleast ours and the coming generation should pay heed to this.

Women can take as much as you give them, be it your love or be it your hurt. Nothing about giving support to feminism here, it’s just my take on this issue.

I don’t know how many of you have seen a woman being physically battered or beaten up in your life. I would say Good if you have not. I would say Good even if you have because in the later case, atleast you know the REAL side of the world you live in.

My point is – NOTHING justifies hitting ANY Woman. Be a MAN for God’s sake and stop this nonsense.

Psychologically, it is said that a woman in the long run accepts domestic violence as a part of her life. She thinks “may be something is wrong with me”. Most of them keep thinking, “It will not happen to me” but I fear almost 50% of the women in India go through this either before or after marriage.

Women tend to give in to an abusive relationship calling it their fate. The one thing that they share is SILENCE amidst all the things they are meant to share. For them relationships are more important than the agony they feel.

Today when we saw the lady getting abused and all our repeated pleas to call the law went into deaf ears of her, it comes to mind – is there any sense living like this??

Someday the pain will disappear, Someday she will get the courage to fight back, Someday she will move on, Someday she will LIVE. Maybe one day but she will breathe again. But the question comes to my mind – When will that someday come when she will do something about her so called LIFE?

Its time she makes sure – “That someday” is “Today”. She has to liberate herself from this nonsense. She is hoping against hope because this is going on now for so many years. Fairytales don’t come true so I guess, today should be “Someday” that she is waiting for, and should take control of her life. I pray she gets the courage to do that.

That’s all I had to say for today. Hope you guys are doing awesome and not in a foul mood like me!!!

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12 thoughts on “Make TODAY that Someday!!!

  1. That is indeed sad!!! donno why some men think that hitting women shows them as the powerful one when actually they are the biggest cowards !!!! Worst is, why do these women take the beating and not hit back right then and there ? when will the belan and the jhaadu come in handy?

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  2. Its sad………
    These men are basically cowards.
    Women folk need to stand up to this. The feminist groups go for hordes of protests but such true cases never gets addressed.

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  3. how true bhaskar

    at times woman has to understand where she stands and stop this violence.

    very well written

    and true the feminist groups dont see these issues

    they go for baseless things

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  4. These women need to be shaken up and some sense drilled into them….. they think this is the last time without realising it a never ending process if you dont make a stop somewhere.Stand up ladies to domestic violence or your life will turn hell with every passing day!

    Good post BT. Us insaan ko pakar ke meri taraf se do thapar marna agli baar. :@

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  5. Bhaskar Ji!!!!
    Just like the huge gap that exists in the economic status in India( we have people who are in top 50 rich persons of the world…we have people who buy islands on their name….on the other side..we have people who don’t have basic amenities like food, shelter and clothing..such a paradox…
    SIMILARLY….we have a huge gap between the conditions of women in India. One section of Women are really doing excellent job in several fields. They are so independent financially, in decision making …the percentage of this type of women is increasing in India. Try hitting this type of women…if anyone tries to do so..in the NEXT minute that fellow will land in Emergency ward of the city’s finest Hospital 😛 . Added to these..they make best use of domestic violence act…

    However, there is other section of women(majority)…who are still dependent and face all the atrocities. Reason!!! They chose that sort of LIFE. They just give the remote control of their life to the MEN in their life. They don’t like using the grey cells in their brains. They don’t have proper education, they don’t have financial independence. Basically THEY DON’T have control on their LIFE. They are lazy to own their life. They are happy being dependent on others for every damn thing in their life..right from the course they want to study, the biscuit they want to eat…They depend on FATHER…later on even for small things like buying a book or going to school..they depend on brother or father…(this type of caring is not given to boys of that same age…). They study whatever their parents wish (a course which is suitable for marriage)..even if they study any other course…they will be so kind enough to RENOUNCE everything for the sake of husband. They like being at home and depending on husband for everything..they like husband bringing all the things for them. In this process….they don’t earn a single rupee but they try to compare with their friends…bug the husband for more things in life….Basically women tend to forget that they can have control on their life and that they too can do something to make their life better. So in this process they may tend to become like parasites and they make themselves so hopeless…this gives chance to the husband fellow to confirm that their wife is waste person who is dependent on him for everything in the world. They feel they are the SUPER MAN ….the basic problem is the inefficienct methods of the wife make a SUPER MAN of a normal person and sometimes…this dependency and super man mentality awakes the DOBERMAN in that normal man turned SUPERMAN…he barks and abuses the wife…..in this situations..the wife will not reply back and simply cry cry cry..like a cry baby……
    I don’t say that every woman should go to office and earn money…but they should never give the remote of their life to others…they need not be independent financially..but atleast they can stop being DEPENDENT on every small issue…they should not degrade themselves before other gender…they should behave in a responsible manner…if they are mentally strong…They will NEVER LET any fellow abuse them in such a manner….am saying about educated middle class..higher middle class women who let their husband beat them when ever that husband feels frustrated…
    In lower economic level…whether its man or woman or child…their life is dependent on the little money they get through daily wages….if the man is the bread winner in the home..and if women of the house don’t work…they are prone to the abuse……solution for this is financial independence and education for women….
    If people are financially independent and educated and still they allow other fellow to abuse them..then its their INEFFICIENCY….No body can save them….why do you think God has given us 2 hands , 2 legs and mind….TO USE THEM EFFECTIVELY in the RIGHT TIME. One need to slap the other fellow before the other fellow TRIES to slap 😛 . Feminist organizations or some other person NEED NOT or cannot help in this type of issues..ONE SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF ONE’S OWN LIFE and SHOULD STOP GIVING REMOTE CONTROL OF THEIR LIFE To others… in this type of issues…its all about SELF ESTEEM. If they don’t try to change their thought process TODAY …they will not be free from all the abuses ANYDAY….
    Regards,
    Prasanna Rayaprolu

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  6. @ – They are so independent financially, in decision making …the percentage of this type of women is increasing in India. Try hitting this type of women…if anyone tries to do so..in the NEXT minute that fellow will land in Emergency ward of the city’s finest Hospital . Added to these..they make best use of domestic violence act…

    The lady in question falls under the same category mam.This category of women lodging complaints is again hardly 20% and among them 10% are those who are misusing this law.Yes they make best use of this law, i.e. by lodging false complaints and getting away with making trouble for the innocent ones.Its this group of women who are causing more damage to the really needful ones.When they go and make complaint, many a time they are not even taken seriously.

    Have not gone thru your long post but just the first part so made the comment.Its women in general and no category or class matters here, which is the cause.These men need to be taught a lesson and unfortunately law rarely helps.Most of the time the women themselves are not ready to get them punished.

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  7. @Arpan ji…
    Domestic Violence act is brought for the better use but it is doing more harm to the people. However, have seen somany cases in which it is ABUSED more…my cousin’s Professor in a premier business school of Hyd(who is a good person) was booked under this act and police jailed him immediately. However lots of students, fellow professors paraded near the police station in support of their proff and then that case was dealt in a better manner; in another case an acquaintance of my collegue and his mom, Dad were jailed immediately after a complaint based on this domestic violence act…both these cases were just framed to bother the persons.
    However….any law has a scope to be misused…laws related to CASTE, GENDER are highly misused in India.
    My point is, its not the mindset of MAN alone which has to be changed..it includes the change in mindset and thought process of WOMAN too. Unless and untill they make an effort to change this mindset by STRENGTHENING themselves..no law or no one is going to HELP. Prevention is better than cure…women can prevent such abuse by being strong mentally…
    I’ve lost a close Aunt of mine 12 years back….because of Domestic Violence… She was such a nice person, she chose not to complain to anyone of her brothers or parents about the abuse…as she thought it would spoil her marriage and she did not want to bother her brothers and old parents who were struggling financially then… She did not have guts to leave the husband as she was not that educated to get a decent job, she did’nt even have enough money…she was scared about the society…she was beaten by her husband and mother in law…for every damn thing….if she had made an effort to retort back…if she had made an effort to complain to her brothers and police about it..she might have been ALIVE today. Being timid does’nt work….as long as we empower men to do the abuse they try to do so…
    I emphasize on the economic class and education levels becoz….it is the main thing which helps a person to be independent and strong. If we are weak in these aspects…its tough to voice our opinion and to be understood.

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  8. Yes its the women who need to stand up now. I agree at times because of lack of financial support, they fail to do so. But what about one’s like I saw today???? She is a school teacher. We all were beside her and agreed to help her in getting protection from law. This was a genuine case. But the lady simply refused and told us not to lodge any complaint. Unless we get her consent what an anyone do, finally its her who has to agree that she faces the abuses.

    And coming from such educated working self sufficient ladies, what do you expect then from the illiterate ones?? They are then fully depended.

    Also what about other ladies of a house??? There are so many cases where the in-laws (female) join hands with the husband to get into such domestic violence. If ladies themselves can’t stand beside their own one’s what to say!!!!!!!

    And these men. I have no word for such creatures. Yes they definitely fall under Creatures and not human being!!!!!

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  9. The specialty of most of the Indian women is they “Forget and Forgive” . They are wise enough to act and react according to situations. They don’t like others to intrude into their family matters unnecessarily. If this factor were not there…the family system might have collapsed long back.

    Btw…Just realized that my first comment is more lengthier than your post 😦 . It is like an infinite loop…did’nt write such a long comment intentionally though…word were flowing like an endless river……:P

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  10. “””The specialty of most of the Indian women is they “Forget and Forgive” . They are wise enough to act and react according to situations. They don’t like others to intrude into their family matters unnecessarily. If this factor were not there…the family system might have collapsed long back.”””

    Sorry, my apologies but thats one ridiculous reason I would say. They are so wise that they go on getting hit but still keep their mouths shut till some really big time accident happens. Better to throw out of the window such family system. By making such comments you are more giving support to the prob. Its better always to help of other helpful parties and get the prob sorted rather than sit and follow forgive & forget.

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  11. I wish to rephrase Shri C.K. Prahalad Kakkar’s words on ‘perception on the poor’ with respect to women “IF WE stop thinking of the WOMEN as victims or as a burden and start recognising them as resilient and creative people and value-conscious humans, a whole new world of opportunity will open up.”

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  12. Inspiring article in today’s Hindu Paper
    http://beta.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/article223574.ece

    For the first time, they have the chance to put money aside, invest in their business, better housing and education for their children. But the impact of financial independence goes far beyond putting more food on the table or securing shelter at night. I have watched them also nurture their communities, stand together in a crisis and learn to speak with confidence. They say their husbands value them more and no longer treat them as inferior. Violence in the family decreases. Decisions are shared and women’s influence rises, not only in the family but through the community. Mothers can insist their daughters receive the education they were denied and they actively take part in helping their own communities reach the right decisions on the future because they, at last, have a voice….

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